Staples Can Go Fuck Themselves In the Back Door

For the past few weeks I've been looking for an all in one printer. If you don't know what that is it's a printer that has lots of rad features like scanning, printing, copying, faxing, emailing all sorts of weird little extras, photo printer. That sort of shit. Anyway I have been scoping the internet heavily looking for the perfect one for what I want to spend, I hate buying electronics cause it's never a good deal and is almost outdated the moment you pay for it. So on a side note technology can go fuck itself super hard in power button. On with the story, I decided craigslist was fuckin out and buying something new was fuckin in. So I picked what I thought was the best all in one set up out there and headed out on the road in search of Staples (they had the best deal). Well let me tell you the number one reason staples can eat a fleshy meat purse and go fuck itself, their sign was not lit up so I drove about 40 blocks passed it thinking I hadn't gotten their yet. I know what your thinking, why didn't I just check the address? Why did I drive so far with out stopping? Well you can ask questions until the cows fuck home, the only answer is I don't know. I guess I'm kinda slow, "stupid" if you will. Point is Staples should have a giant flashing sign so people like me can find it. I finally found it. I was pumped they were still open cause it was gettin on in the evening. I blew in there and went stright for the printer section. They had a huge aray of printers, ALL EXCEPT THE ONE I WANTED. They happened to have a similar office model and a better one of the same series, so I stood in front of it until one of their employees decided to get off their grease hole and come help me. When he finally arrived, not only was he short, he had a lisp. It was the ultimate combo to anger me. However, I felt that euphoric rush you get when you buy a new toy so I decided to be patient. I was on the home stretch to finally having a sweet ass printer. I play along as short lisp explains to me that the printer I originally set out for is no longer in production but this newer better and more expensive one is conveniently sitting right here and I should buy that one. So I let the lispy D do his pitch. Basically they were closing and I needed a fucking printer. So I said "ya fine I'll take it". Low and behold, they were out of stock and couldn't get one in until the next day. I wasted time, gas, and patience on this little lispy pancake fuck and didn't even get a printer. Seeing as I urgently needed it I decided to exit the fuckary zone and go to London drugs where I originally saw it weeks before.

Not only was the model I wanted there, it was on sale and I found out the company did still make them and the Staples assfuck was just trying to get me to spend more money. At this point I'm beginning to think the lisp is a fake just so he can make sympathy sales. Staples, staples' sign and staples employees can go fuck themselves so so so hard.